Day 54

in 2005 i was on a flight from Australia to New Zealand where we had to make an emergency decent mid-flight. it was pretty scary to say the least. we dropped 10000ft in at the time seemed like a couple of minutes, when it actually was probably only 30 seconds or so. i had a massive rush of adrenalin at the time, and ever since then my flight or flight instinct seems to be on red alert. it doesn't take much for me to get an increase in adrenalin, which when you don't require it, just causes a lot of anxiety.
this isn't particularly pleasant when you have so much goodness happening in your life and you are seemingly down because of the excess of chemicals in your body. it's crazy.
it's also hard work and tiring. getting through a day when your body is trying to 'fly' away from everything is hard. very hard. personally, i can't concentrate, my head is thinking about 5000 things all at once and physically, my body is a shaky mess & i just want to vomit.
in the past few weeks these anxiety 'attacks' seemed to have occurred more often than usual. why, i'm not sure. maybe it's because i body is already heightened by my senses and emotions....who knows. what i do know is that it is hard to get through the day when i am like this. definitely near on hard to be creative, (which is a right pain in the arse these days). mainly it's the lack of concentration that is the hardest.....i really just have to break it down to basics, and put one foot in front of the other to get through the days.